Blog Book

November 13, 2019 Well, the letter finally arrived. The letter, that is, from Michigan Tech University - for which my son has been anxiously waiting. Annnnnnd, looks like my boy is going to be a Husky! Now Matthew is busy learning about housing options, researching campus life, and dreaming about the future. I am in one moment proud, and excited to see him growing and pursuing new things. And in the next moment I am full of sentimentality - wanting to keep holding on to my baby boy, not feeling ready to embrace this soon-to-be-empty nest. (Especially as I sat through a child dedication ceremony at church Sunday morning. The memory of standing on the platform the day we dedicated Matthew to the LORD seemed so very recent. *sigh*) Maybe that's why I found myself re-dedicating him in my heart. Thinking about him on the brink of adulthood, making more of his own decisions (Though I love when he comes to Brian and me for advice!), doing more of his own things - I still pray that God wi...

March 27, 2018 So, yesterday I had a list of things I needed to accomplish and I got started on it right away. After I slept in until 7:39, that is. (You know. 7:30 + one tap of the Snooze button.) Hey! I needed rest to tackle my stuff. *wink* Got my workout in, had breakfast, got showered and ready for the day, sorted laundry and got it going, made my bed, and was ready to head out the door to go grocery shopping. Part of me wanted to delay my departure so I could put the first load of laundry in the dryer and get another wash going, but I decided to just keep moving. I got through the store, unloaded and put away groceries, and went downstairs to switch over the laundry. But when I got down there, something was amiss. The laundry I'd left in the basket at the bottom of the stairs was gone. So I proceeded to the laundry room to see what was going on, and I discovered the task I planned to do was already done. And I smiled as I realized Josh had switched over the laundry for me. ...

October 24, 2017 I recently sat at the table, reading my Bible and praying. And as I was praying - as I sat there in the quiet with my eyes closed - I heard someone coming from the other side of the house. I could tell this person was in the hallway, now turning the corner, passing the dining room table and, yep, now in the kitchen coming toward me. (The sound difference from walking on carpet to the wood floor let me know the traveler's exact location.) I found myself pausing my prayer briefly as I wondered who was now sharing space with me. Did he have a question for me? Did he need me to do something? Should I open my eyes and engage him in conversation? But instead of doing anything, I just sat with my eyes closed, and listened. And without saying or hearing a word, I knew exactly who was about to go past me. Because the sound of the wood floor told me the feet were bare, the rapid rate of the footsteps told me the individual was in a bit of a hurry, and the distinct echo of t...

September 19, 2017 Ahhhhh, my girl came home this weekend! We hosted a baby shower for one of her best friends, so Elizabeth crossed our threshold for the first time in over four months. Yes. I've been counting. *wink* And it kind of surprised me how much time I spent anticipating her visit. *I made our dinner menu to suit her vegetarian-ism. *Cleaned up the living room for the baby shower, but left the decorating for her - because I knew she'd enjoy it, and would do a lovely job. (She did. Both!) *Took clutter off her bed and set it aside. (Yeah. I didn't go crazy and clean her room...) *Verified that she could join us for Krav Maga Saturday morning. But as much as I enjoyed preparing, it was what Elizabeth did that made the biggest impact. That is, *I watched my daughter genuinely and enthusiastically greeting loved ones (her brothers and friends) who she hasn't seen in a long time. *I saw her taking time to talk and listen - to go places for the sake of building rel...

February 21, 2017 Yesterday when I turned my phone on, I had this message from my daughter waiting for me: I miss having a mom in the house that will sometimes pick up my mess when I'm too tired to do it. Unfortunately, I go to bed knowing that in the morning, the kitchen will look exactly how I left it. I smiled at her sweetness, and thought about the conversation we'd had this past weekend. My girl is in the thick of classes and looking for an internship for this summer. And she isn't feeling like she has any of it under control. Rather, she's feeling quite overwhelmed by it all. Especially the unknowns. And in moments like this when she's tired and overwhelmed and feeling a bit disheartened - while I know I can pray for her - I really wish I could just be there. To clean up her kitchen, and do her laundry, and buy her groceries, and anything else she might need. Oh, and to sing her songs at bedtime, like I did when she was little. In moments like this it's h...

December 9, 2016 Well, if you ever want to know if there's an area in your life which needs transforming - just ask God to shine a spotlight on it. And prepare yourself to be convicted. Because this week as I have been contemplating Love is Not Irritable , Wow! Have my eyes been opened!!! It started with the test I took right after recording Monday's video devotion, and it's been going strong all week. God's Spirit has been drawing my attention to every little thing which I allow to irritate me. Oh, I long to be refined by Him. To be able to say that Love defines me - and I am not irritable. I remember when this Irritable Mother journey began, and I was known to fly off the handle and yell at my children, and go through my days angry and frustrated. I am sooooo glad God has changed my heart and taken me from that way of living. But with a spotlight on Love is Not Irritable this week He has shown me I am, in fact, still prone to irritability. Though I may not be yellin...

October 13, 2015 Sunday after church one of Matthew's friends was coming over. This friend moved a year or so ago and doesn't go to Matthew's school anymore, so it's been a while since he's been over. He's a nice kid, and I was glad for the chance to see him again. In the past his mom has always dropped him off, and I was expecting the same Sunday. So when a truck pulled into our driveway, and T got out and came into the house - but the truck remained, I was a bit surprised. But, whatever. I greeted T and asked what he and Matthew had planned for the afternoon. He told me they were going to go out for lunch. I paused. And started putting the pieces together. Me: Oh, you're 16 now, aren't you? T: Yes. Is he driving now? Is that why the truck is still here? Me: So, you've got your driver's license, huh? T: (smiling) Yes. Oh. So, you're going to be driving Matthew today. But he's my baby. And I don't know if you drive well. Me: (...

June 2, 2015 I took Elizabeth to Cran-Hill Ranch on Sunday. She's going to be a camp counselor there this summer and has two weeks of orientation before the first group of campers arrive. I was a counselor at Cran-Hill in 1991 and 1992, and am so stinkin' excited for my daughter. For the fun she'll have, the lives she'll touch, and the ways she is going to experience God. It is going to be a summer like none she has ever had before. And I am thrilled for her. I really am. But I'm also a little sad. See, for the past nine years I have taken Elizabeth to Cran-Hill - for a week of summer camp. And, always, at the end of the week I have picked her up and listened to story after story of the adventures she had at the Ranch. But Sunday when we checked in at the office I said to Mal (the camp director), "I'm giving her to you for a whole summer this time. Take good care of her." Then we hugged and I prayed for her and we said our good-byes. And I got in...

May 28, 2015 So, one of my children had a, uh, fender bender recently. No one was hurt, and no damage came to the vehicles. But there was a ticket issued. Which had an associated fine. Which has been paid. We thought the situation was over. Until a notice came in the mail stating the correct amount for the fine, including a little line labeled, "balance due." The child has seen the notice - he's the one who opened it - and, yet, it sits on the kitchen counter waiting to be paid. More than once I have asked the aforementioned child when he is going to take care of the aforementioned fine. Each time the child has made a non-committal response about taking care of it sometime. And each time, I have thought about how easy it would be for me to just do it - but known that to do so would not be doing the child any favors. He needs to take responsibility. I know that! I had to help him with the initial fine because it required a cashier's check and he didn't know h...

April 16, 2015 OK, relax. I am NOT talking about the kind of becoming like a certain Olympian from the 70s, whose "becoming" has been all over the news lately. (I get updates when standing in line at the grocery store. *ahem*) What I'm talking about is this: Lately my son has been saying things - expressing frustration about certain situations - which has me thinking he gets me. For example, he said to me a few nights ago, "It drives me crazy when people don't listen to what I say." He went on to describe a situation at work when he had to enforce some park rules, but the subjects of the enforcement didn't want to comply. Instead, they argued with my son. Tried bargaining with him. Ignored his words. But after several minutes of my son being as polite as possible and explaining the rules (while also trying to hide his frustration) they finally gave in. As he relayed the story, I could feel his angst in the moment and I nearly bit my tongue to keep mys...

July 29, 2014 Last Thursday, Matthew had a job to do. Brian had asked him to wash the screens to the windows, and had them leaning up against the house. Just waiting for Matthew to get to them. I had reminded Matthew a time, or two, that the screens were waiting. And, finally, I came out and asked, "So, Matthew. When are you planning to take care of your chores?" **Honest moment: Matthew was using my computer, and I wanted to use it. I thought my more direct question would motivate him to get to work - which would allow me access to my computer. Confession finished. So, anyway, Matthew hopped up to wash the screens. And I sat down to play, er, I mean work. Except, I found myself spending more time staring out the window at my boy than looking at the computer screen and getting things done. Because he was working so diligently. And he was being careful to do a good job. And I just stared at my son and realized how much he's growing up. I was proud of the hard work he w...

October 22, 2013 My aspiring angler (For those of you who don't know, a real fisherman is known as an "angler".) has been wanting to catch salmon for such a long time. And two weekends ago, he did it! He spent several hours at the creek near our church and caught himself a few nice salmon. (Gave one away to another angler who just wanted to get one and go...) The two he kept were full of eggs. Josh was thrilled. Because now he could make real fishing bait for next year's salmon runs. (Apparently, salmon like to eat salmon eggs - so they make great bait. I'm trying to get over the cannibalistic image that produces in my mind. *ewww*) So, with a bowl FULL of salmon eggs, Josh did his research and we bought the necessary items to create next year's bait. (Unscented Borax, and red tulle - in case you're wondering.) When Josh had the eggs prepared he sat down to wrap and tie individual packages, which he is certain will land him some amazing catches on futu...

September 11, 2013 Dear God, Do you remember when Elizabeth was born, and I was getting ready to leave the hospital? And I wondered who these crazy people were who thought it was OK to send a BABY home with me? After all, what did I know about being a mother??? Do you remember the tears I cried as we struggled to figure out how to nurse? What about the sleepless nights when I wanted to call it quits? Do you remember those? Oh, and how about when Joshua was born? Remember the frustration I had in learning how to change his diapers? Boys are so different! It was laughable in the hospital, but it got old pretty quickly. You saw those tears, too, didn't you? Then Matthew came along. Remember how I struggled to be a mommy to THREE children? Oh, the trouble I had keeping two occupied while I cared for the third! Those days were really hard, LORD. As the children grew, the challenges grew, too. Do you remember that? Do you remember how we struggled through potty training, setting ...

July 9, 2013 I heard my phone ringing and dug through the groceries sitting on my purse to get to it. Brian was calling. "Hola!" (I don't know why I always answer my phone in Spanish. But I do...) Once he discovered I was still at the grocery store, Brian wanted to know if it was too late for me to get him some shaving cream. Technically, it wasn't. I mean, I was still at the store. But I was nearly finished. And shaving cream was completely on the other side of the store! Even so, what could I say? It's too far for me to walk? So I got a few more items from my current aisle and then trucked across the store to the HBA department. Just as I was about to reach for the shaving cream, I heard my phone again. Only now it was more buried by the recent items I'd grabbed and by the time I picked it up, I'd missed the call. This time it was Joshua, and I pressed a button to call him back. "Uh, Mom, are you still at Meijer?" I wanted to say NO. ...

February 13, 2013 I was super tired Monday night and thought it would be a great idea to go to bed early. After a few delays, I found myself in bed. Exhausted. (It was no longer what I considered to be "early" but I'd made it, and I couldn't wait to get some rest.) When I'd been asleep for maybe half an hour, I was awoken by a ringing telephone. Of course, the phone is on my side of the bed , so I answered the call. It was Joshua. He was at school for rugby practice and needed a ride home. Seems the kid who was going to give him a ride didn't make it to practice Monday night, and apparently no one else could give Joshua a ride home. Believe me, I asked! So, at 10:22 I got out of bed to go retrieve my son. And I was not happy about it. Why is my sleep being sabotaged like this tonight? Why didn't he tell me earlier that his friend wasn't at practice? Then I could have gone and picked him up earlier! Why did we even say Joshua could play rubgy? P...

September 25, 2012 When Joshua was younger we often got into it with one another. He would stomp off to his room in anger. I pretty much stayed put in anger. Sometimes it took a few hours, and other times it was a day or more, but typically Joshua would realize his error and apologize to me. And it always surprised me when I saw what happened to my heart in those moments. His sincere apology was all it took for me to forgive, and remember my love for him. And in a weird sort of way, those moments made our spats OK. Because I got to see my son's tender, humble side. And it is so beautiful. We recently had a disagreement which went the same direction. We just couldn't see eye to eye. Try as I might, I couldn't convince him it is OK to bend for the good of the family. Couldn't get him to think outside of himself. And, as per usual, he stomped past me mumbling about how annoying I am. Moments later I heard the shower going and started to sputter inside about him wasti...

June 12, 2012 I've mentioned before that we struggle around here with ADD and ADHD. Er, on some occasions "struggle" would be a gross understatement. Anyway, the boys have it, and I am trying to learn how to manage our lives with the extra challenge. So, the other day Matthew came into my room and was nosing around my nightstand. He saw a book and said in a questioning voice, "The Add Book?" And I corrected him, "No. It's the 'A.D.D. Book'." He seemed to understand and said, "Is that for Joshua?" I explained I had gotten it to help me understand Joshua a little better. Then Matthew asked if I had a book "for" him. I responded affirmatively and he went in search for it. He found 'Why ADHD Doesn't Mean Disaster'. Side note: I soooo think they should have titled the book, 'Why ADHD Doesn't Spell Disaster'. I mean, it's a fun little play on words and I think it is quite clever. But they didn...

January 12, 2012 Have you ever noticed that a single set of words can have two different meanings, based upon the attitude of the speaker? I'm hoping time and maturity will allow Matthew to to change the meaning of his words to me. Tuesday morning we were going through our usual rituals. I reminded him how much time he had left before needing to be out the door to catch the bus, and Matthew poked. He doesn't like to be under pressure to get things done, yet he seems unable to heed the clock's warnings. This was especially so Tuesday. And when it came down to the wire, when I told Matthew, "You need to be out the door in one minute," he panicked and called out, "Will you put my lunch in my back-pack?" In the past I have fulfilled this request and gotten his lunch out of the fridge and put it into his back-pack. But I've done that on days when he really has been trying to get ready. Tuesday he was simply poking around, and I decided I needed to let h...

October 20, 2011 My phone rang Monday afternoon as I was walking into McDonalds. (Had to visit their little girls room . *wink*) I knew it was Joshua calling, so I answered the phone. (Not everybody can interrupt nature's call, you know. LOL) And the first thing I heard was, "Are you able to come?" He was at his last cross-country meet of the season and as of that morning I hadn't known if I'd be able to go to it. I needed to find someone to call Bingo for me at Edgewood, and told Joshua if I was able to do that I would come to his meet. So he was just calling to check. I said, "Yes. I just got into DeWitt. I'll be there in a few minutes." "Good! Bye!" (Which is different than, "Good-bye!") And with that, Joshua hung up. I chuckled at his abruptness. But I forgave it quickly - as I considered the minor miracle I'd just experienced. The boy who thinks I am annoying more often than not; the boy who seems to avoid me more than h...

August 9, 2011 Have I told you before about Joshua's addiction to, I mean affinity for fishing? Early on in the summer he stated his goal was to go fishing every single day. He's come close to meeting that goal. So last Wednesday night he was out fishing with his friend when my phone rang. It was Joshua. Telling me he'd just lost a pole. He'd had it leaning up along the railing and a fish got it and started swimming before Joshua had a chance to grab hold of the pole. Too bad , I thought, but what do you want me to do about it? It would take me 15 minutes to get to the lake, and even if I was there, I couldn't imagine what I could do to get the pole back. No worries. Joshua wasn't asking me to come fix the problem. He was disappointed and it seemed he just needed to tell me about it. How sweet . I understand it stinks to lose something, but I didn't quite get why this should be such a big deal. The boy has several fishing poles! Ah, but this one was ...