I Had a Choice to Make

January 11, 2011

Oh, how I love God's timing.
And His grace toward me.
Did you read last Friday's post, about stepping back and being quiet? Well, just after I finished writing it, I was getting dinner ready. And I discovered that Joshua had not unloaded the dishwasher yet that day.

Did I mention I was getting dinner ready?
This chore should have been done HOURS before.

Other times when this oversight has occurred, I have called Joshua to the kitchen and put him to work right away. But on this particular day, he was gone. So I had time to grumble, I mean think about how I was going to address him when he came home.
My first instinct was to express my frustration. I wanted to make Joshua aware that I was tired of him forgetting to do his chores. Wanted to remind him that unloading the dishwasher every morning has been his job for years, and there really is no excuse for not doing it.
I thought of lots that I could say to get my point across.

Then I thought about the blog post I'd just written.
And the wisdom of that woman who has 'been there'.
And I realized I had a choice to make.

When Joshua walked through the door I could lay into him about not doing his chores correctly. I could attack him with my words so he would never forget to unload the dishwasher again, I mean hate me. Then I could deal with the fight which would ensue.

OR

I could step back and be quiet. I could tell Joshua to unload the dishwasher, and leave it at that.

I chose the latter.

Do you know what happened?
The dishwasher got unloaded. There was no yelling or slamming or broken dishes. No one got mad, or raised their voice in anger. Joshua just put the dishes away, and that was that.

Sure, I want him to do his chores in a timely manner. I know he knows what's supposed to be done. But, in reflecting on my conversation with P, I realized my relationship with my son is so much more important than when the dishes get put away. And if I had to do it again, I would make the same choice.
Actually, I'm sure I'll have to do it again. Many times. And I hope I'll remember this lesson I've learned.

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